


Trigger

by teej_318



Series: Prompts for Camp NaNoWriMo April 2020 [11]
Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Billy Batson Needs a Hug, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Good sibling Freddy Freeman, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Panic Attacks, Protective Freddy Freeman, Soft Billy Batson, Tooth Rotting Fluff, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23867290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teej_318/pseuds/teej_318
Summary: Request from larissa_fanfics: What if Billy has a panic attack and Freddy helps him get through it.
Relationships: Billy Batson & Freddy Freeman, Billy Batson/Freddy Freeman
Series: Prompts for Camp NaNoWriMo April 2020 [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1650052
Comments: 3
Kudos: 89





	Trigger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [larissa_fanfics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/larissa_fanfics/gifts).



Billy was taking a casual stroll in the park. He had already eaten breakfast and decided to take his daily walk earlier in the day than he usually did. His walks always let his mind clear up of any of his worries. And the walks usually gave Billy a chance to spot any potential crime scenes that he could investigate as Shazam.

On this morning, however, the walk couldn't have been more boring. Usually Billy took his walk later in the day, so he was used to seeing more people. Apparently people in Philadelphia didn't like to walk around in the mornings. To be fair to them, it was a little chilly outside, but Billy was fine as long as he kept moving.

He had just rounded the corner of the final stretch of the path in the park when he saw something that caused him to pause. At first, he thought he was merely having a flashback. His birth mother Marilyn was walking in the park. But she wasn't alone. Holding her hand was a small boy, who was about the same as Billy when his mother left him at the amusement park. 

Billy would have chalked up seeing his birth mom to the effects of forgetting to drink enough water and his mind hallucinating slightly. However, when his mother and the boy came closer, Billy could see the boy was clearly not his younger self, which suggested that Billy was not just seeing things. A passerby waving to his birth mom and the boy and them waving back made Billy realize he did in fact see his mother.

Seeing her sent Billy into a downward spiral. Dozens of bad memories started to course through his mind at a rapid pace. His mother could be traced back to all of them, because if she had not abandoned him, the memories wouldn't have happened. He remembered bad faster home after bad foster home, running away from multiple homes to find his mother, only to realize he was chasing false leads. 

But the memory that dominated the most was the day his mother had rejected him. Billy had been so sure that she was going to take him in or at least be happy that he was alive and well. But his mother was nonchalant during their entire reunion before she finally revealed that she had purposefully left Billy in the hands of the police, thinking he was better off without her.

Billy had to get out of there as quickly as he could. He took extra effort not to be seen by his mother or the boy as he scurried out of the park. He hurried back home and was relieved when he finally tore through the front door and shut it behind him.

"Hey kiddo, how was your walk?" Victor asked, grinning at Billy as Billy took off his jacket and hung it up. "Not too chilly out there for you?"

Billy ignored Victor and instead stomped across the living room, immediately bound for the stairs.

"Billy? Everything okay, mijo?" asked Rosa, frowning at Billy.

Billy shook his head and hurried up the stairs as fast as his legs would carry him. Victor and Rosa heard the bedroom door slam upstairs.

"Wonder what's up with him," Victor said.

"Maybe he's just tired," said Rosa. "Still, maybe I should go check on him."

"Was that Billy I heard?" Freddy asked as he walked into the living room from the kitchen. 

"Is he okay, Freddy?" Rosa asked. "He just went straight upstairs and didn't say anything."

Freddy shrugged.

"He didn't say anything this morning about anything bothering him. I'll go up and check on him."

"Thanks, mijo," said Rosa, giving Freddy a warm smile. 

Freddy nodded at Rosa and made his way up the stairs, his crutch thumping beside him along the way. He knocked on the bedroom door to announce his presence before walking in. Freddy noticed Billy was pacing around the room, an odd expression on his face. Freddy closed the door behind him before he turned to face Billy.

"Billy? Everything okay?" he asked gently.

Billy startled as if he just noticed that Freddy had walked into the room. 

"I saw her, Freddy, I saw her," Billy said in an anxiety-ridden voice. He was talking faster than he normally did and Freddy could tell Billy's breathing was faster, too. 

"Who?" Freddy asked, frowning at Billy.

"She had a boy with her. He was about the same age I was when she left me." Billy was talking as if he were speaking everything that was on his mind. "I thought I was seeing things, but then I saw someone waving at them and then I knew they were real. What the hell is she doing with a kid? She already abandoned one!"

"Billy, are you saying you saw your birth mom at the park?"

Billy nodded and continued his rant.

"So, I wasn't good enough for her, but she still decides to have another kid," Billy said, his breathing going even faster now. "I just know she's gonna leave him behind like she did with me. She didn't even ask if I was okay; she just assumed I was. I spent so long trying to find her. So long. Freddy, why couldn't she have just loved me?"

Freddy felt his heart break as Billy dissolved into tears. He slowly walked forward as he noticed Billy's breathing get out of control as he sobbed. 

"Hey, hey, are you having a panic attack right now?" Freddy asked gently, keeping his voice calm, but firm.

"I-I-I think so," Billy replied, closing his eyes as if that would shield him from his thoughts.

"Okay, Billy, I need you to listen to me and listen carefully, okay? Can you tell me four things you can touch?"

"Please!" Billy begged, still sobbing and breathing heavily.

"Billy, it's a panic attack. It's a stress response. You need to breathe from your abdomen, not your chest."

"I can't!"

"Billy, you can do it, I promise. Now just trust me, okay? Can you name four things you can touch for me?"

Billy reached around for anything that was nearby. He was difficult because his eyes were clamped shut tight and he was still sobbing and breathing heavily.

"Chair," Billy said, touching the chair that Freddy always sat in on his desk. "Lamp. Curtain. Wall."

"Good, that's good, Billy," Freddy said, his voice still calm. "Now, tell me three things you can hear. Just three things, buddy, okay?"

"I can...I can hear your voice," Billy replied as his breathing started to slow down just a bit. "I can hear my breathing." Billy strained a little. Luckily, the bedroom window was open, which meant Billy could hear outside too. "And I hear a bird singing outside."

"Good job, Billy," Freddy said as he placed a calming hand on Billy's arm. Billy visibly calmed at this and Freddy knew he was making progress. "Now, two things you can smell."

"Your breath," Billy said quickly.

"Okay, now that was uncalled for," Freddy muttered under his breath.

"And I can smell bacon. The bacon we had this morning at breakfast."

"Now, one thing you can taste," Freddy instructed.

Billy hesitated for a moment before he answered.

"Fear," he said.

Billy's breathing had returned mostly to normal at this point. He finally opened his eyes and looked at Freddy, who was smiling gently at him. Billy leaned forward into Freddy's embrace and cried slightly while Freddy hugged him. As Billy calmed down, Freddy led him in a breathing matching exercise. Soon, Billy had stopped breathing so heavily and he calmed in Freddy's embrace. 

The two boys sat down on the floor next to the bunk bed. Freddy was holding onto Billy's hand tightly and rubbing his thumb absentmindedly on Billy's wrist. Billy found that he didn't mind it and that it helped keep him grounded.

"How do you know so much about panic attacks, Freddy?" Billy asked when he finally found his voice again.

"I used to get them all the time," Freddy replied.

"Yeah?"

Freddy nodded. 

"Yeah, back when I was in some pretty messed up foster homes, I would get them after I saw other kids getting hit," Freddy said. "For a while, I kept getting mad at myself, thinking I should just be happy I wasn't getting hit. But I was so scared of the possibility of getting hit, that I would get panic attacks. Some of the other kids used to make fun of me and say I should just think happy thoughts."

Both boys laughed at that.

"But then I came here and the first time I had a panic attack, Mary helped me through it. She did the breathing exercise with me and taught me about the senses test to help calm me down. Ever since then, I've managed to avoid having them."

"I've had them before, but never that bad," Billy confessed.

"That's understandable. These things happen, Billy, and we can't control when they will, but we can help each other get through them. People don't understand what's it like unless they've experienced one."

"Thanks, Freddy," Billy said, leaning his head down and resting his head on Freddy's shoulder. "I don't know what I would've done without you."

"Don't mention it, Billy. And let me remind you of this: you never have to worry about being left behind ever again. We'll never leave you, Billy. I promise."

Billy nodded as he teared up slightly. Freddy wrapped his arms around Billy and pulled him in for another hug.

"Everything will be okay, Billy," Freddy whispered as he rubbed circles on Billy's back. "I promise." 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this little one-shot! Thanks to larissa_fanfics for suggesting it!
> 
> I don't know much about panic attacks if I'm being honest, having never experienced one myself. I hope I handled this oneshot the right way.


End file.
